updating....

it has been entirely too long...i need to do better with this thing...

school started a month ago. 7 classes and lots of field experience....why do i want to be a teacher again? oh yea, something about influencing the minds of the future! ha! this is a lot of work for such little pay!

today....i'm 26. i don't undertsand. by this point, i had planned on being out of school, and married....maybe with a kid on the way. well...i'm still in school, single, living at home....kinda makes me feel like a loser. i just thought i would have accompliahed more with my life by now.

so....this birthday isn't as exciting as most....i just feel blah....

i just survived....

one of the scariest weeks of my life. i had some spots on my that my mom was worried about. especially after my dad had the melanoma last year and they told him he basically wasn't going to survive. (he did)

so last thursday i went to the dermatologist to have them removed, and there was one little freckle that the doctor was worried about. she had to cut it out, and i have 3 stitches in its place. the other 2, she just cut off.

anyway...

they were sent off to be biopsied and i was told it would take about a week to know any results. well, the doctor just called, and i DON'T HAVE CANCER!

it's such a relief to know that i don't have it. i don't know that i could handle the treatment and surgeries, i'm not that strong. but now i don't have to worry about it at all! i'm cancer free!

so scratch those last 2 posts...things don't always turn out the way you hope for them to. oh well, life goes on.

in bill and i breaking up, i got to be there with my maggie mae on her last days. that in itself means more than anything to me. my dog was my child, and i miss her terribly. words just can't seem to express the hurt i feel in losing her. she wil always be with us, in heat and in sight. her ashes sit on the mantle, so we never have to be without her.

also, in losing maggie, i think i gained back a part of me that has been gone for a while. i reconnected with someone i used to call my best friend. no, not lacy. it will never be lacy. it's christine. even though we used to fight like nothing else, she was a huge part of my life for a really really long time. she encouraged me to go back to school when i thought that would have been impossible. she and i have a lot of things to work through, but i'm happy to have her back. i don't know if we'll ever be the way we used to be, but at least she talks to me now....

life...

has been kinda stressful the last week or so.

my dog is sick. and we don't know how much longer she will be here. they know it's not her pancreas and that her gall bladder is inflamed, but she still could turn for the worse. yesterday she pooped for the first time in a week, so that was a big improvement. i'm still scared though.

the BF has been going through a lot with his job and friday they finally laid him off. so now he's stressed about money and i'm just tryintg to be the best girlfriend i know how to be. he knows he can come to me for anything and i will do everything in my power to help him. he's really talented at what he does, so i'm sure he won't be out of work for long. cross your fingers!

on a really good note....i bought his birthday present, and he's so excited about it. he keeps telling everyone (i'm bad at surprises, so he knows about it) wanna know what it is???

drumroll.....

i'm taking him to see DANE COOK!! (be jealous, abby! i get to see the thighs in person!) i'm really excited about it to. i also got him tickets for the chee weez at HOB on the 27th. he's such a groupie.

school started last thursday. only 3 summer classes, but man they have a lot involved in them. i have a paper due every monday for my old south class, and lots of quizzes in macroeconomics, and projects coming out of the butt for health and safety education. goodbye summer! hello books!

that's all for now....i'll update more later!

since everyone wants an update...

you can find it here.

I met a guy. A really great guy. Someone who makes me laugh and giggle like i haven't done in years. I know it's still early days, but honestly, i haven't been this happy in so long that i didn't think i could really ever be this happy again.

I have spent everyday with him, and i can't wait to spend more with him.

i have joined the cult

i now am the proud owner of an iphone. i finally gave in.

i was so excited about my impression. and it met me down. i send thousands upon thousands of texts a month and i need a phone that can keep up with me. the impression couldn't. i had to restart my phone like 5 times a day in order to get it to send texts.

so i gave in and got the iphone. and i am so happy that i did. i love it. it's amazing!


on another note....i'm very happy that school is finally over for a week. i needd a few days to defrag my brain. it was a long semester, but i am finally a junior. updates when grades are posted......so far:

-biology: A
-biology lab: B
-geography: C

yay...

i ahve a school buddy tomorrow! megan is spending the day with me trekking around UNO!

i have never really connected with a post secret until today. i saw this postcard and almost started crying. all my life, i have fought with myself about my stutter, and i normally lose. i almost am afraid to be a teacher, because my job will revolve around talking, and i'm scared that students will make fun of me about my stutter the way the kids did when i was young. it scares the crap out of me.

most people that i know now, don't even know that i stutter, so that makes me better. and when they fond out that i do, in fact, stutter, a lot don't believe me. i work hard everyday to hide it from people, and it makes me happy that it works.

8 days....

til i get my new phone! I have been searching and scouring everywhere for the one i want. i knew i didn't want a smart phone anymore (i'm trying to downsize my bill. i don't need all that stuff). i also knew i wanted a touch screen, and i did NOT want an iphone. i had my heart set on the samsung eternity. well not anymore.

on april 7th, at&t came out with the samsung impression! it's this amazing touchscreen phone with a slide out qwerty keyboard! exactly what i wanted originally. i wanted the at&t quickfire, but about 6 months after it came out, it was recalled, because of faulty batteries.

when i laid my eyes on the impression, it was love at first sight. i did all my research, and compared it to the eternity. it has everything the eternity has (minus the bottom illumination--i can live without that) AND it has the slide out keyboard. and it has the ability to use the touchscreen keyboard, if i so choose. it will be perfect for texting in class (not that i do that or anything, mom!) because the keys won't click and make a lot of noise! yay!!

april 19 is a very important day. it's the day i break up with oliver, my trusty little blackjack (yes i name my phones!) and adopt a new best friend for a while. i don't know what i'll name it yet. don't get me wrong, oliver was wonderful to me and i'll never forget him, but it is time to downsize. he's very expensive!

drunken 16 yr olds...

really freaking annoy me. what kind of parent would willingly give their child that much alcohol and then let her go off to dinner with her teammates. i know i had to be there, since i'm a part of the team, but come on! really?! are you really going to blame me for you dropping your mountain dew and it pouring all over my cell phone and new camera?!?!?!?!

i act like an adult and even when i'm drunk, i can act more responsible. i just don't get it.

that is all...

boom boom pow

i was supposed to finshed the dance for boom boom pow yesterday. that didn't happen. my stomach just wasn't cooperating with dancing. i don't know what it was. jen and i are gunna finish it today after school. it's really good so far, i just hope the girls can keep up with it. most of them can. i just worry about a select few. i mean, really, what is so hard about a ball change. i don't get it. it was one of the first things i learned in dancing. whatever.

ok it's time to get ready for school. i was just thinking about all of this, and felt the need to vent.

graduation...

may be coming a whole lot sooner than i anticipated. if i take the intersession class, 10 hours in the summer and 15 in the fall , i'll be a senior by the time fall semester is over. then, i get to apply for the tep (teacher education program). i get to skip the praxis I because of my act score, so that's a good thing. after fall i should, at the most, have 4 semesters left! i really hope it all goes the way it should. italy is waiting for me!!

yea, i'm here too.

I'm never good at these blog things. I don't really ever know what to say, but somehow, I was talked into it. So, here I am! i swear i'll try to post regularly. It may even be kind of interesting (but only if you like to hear be talk about school and dancing and probably a certain guy who my heart is still broken over).